I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
