So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
