I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
