seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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