Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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