a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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