No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
