is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I understand Curling. That high.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize