Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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