Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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