he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
