Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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