I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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