I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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