her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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