My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
