So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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