i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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