i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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