Don't you send me to vm
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
