i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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