hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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