i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
