Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize