Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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