I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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