the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
