She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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