is your mom at the bar?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
