dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
