Sponge bath it is.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
