nut hugger
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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