Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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