Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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