I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
