Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
