Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize