Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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