Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
