Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where is the hickey?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize