Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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