Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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