You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
