DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My vagina just clenched in fear
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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