My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
