You really coming over, don't trick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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