Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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