Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
