If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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