no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
