You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
