Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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