I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
