But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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