I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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