I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just had sex bonerless
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
