I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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