We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
