She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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