when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
