youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
