If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can't just leave with hair like that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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