yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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