a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
