you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
