Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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