guys are not supposed to queef...right?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
