I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
