Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
