gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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