Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
