I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
