Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize