im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
