She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
