fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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