ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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