508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
