Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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