wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
