drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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