So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
this just has baby written all over it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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